12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
