I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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