So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize