Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
