I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
