yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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