I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
