Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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