Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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