o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
