Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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