hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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