So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
