I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
