you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
either way he was missing a nipple.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
