Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize