Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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