i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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