Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
