I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
