The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
