he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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