Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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