Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
