best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Randomize