I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
