i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My vagina is officially offended.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
