I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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