I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
