Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
