are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
