I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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