All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Found your dick twin last night
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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