did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
