North Korea, Best Korea!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
