i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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