Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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