I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
