we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
