I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
