my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
