You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If I die, sorry about rent.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
