The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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