I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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