just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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