Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
