Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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