His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
BRING THE BAGELS
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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