READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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