Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
