the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
this just has baby written all over it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
