Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
