When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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