There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He kissed a someone with a penis
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
