doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
