found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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