whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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