I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i used baking grease as lip gloss
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
