K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
