out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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