I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
