Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
