We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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