dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
