My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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