I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
