I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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