FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i love accidental penises.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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